love in a past tense

Love in a past tense.
++++++++++++++++++

When you tell me
that You Loved Me
Love,
(In a Past Tense)
I'm reminded sorely
of
Everything I lost..
and
just How Far I fell.

How I Became your
killer...

A
Murderer of Smiles
who
fed (with Tears)
His
hellish Appetites.

(Hope
for Breakfast..
Followed
by
Fleeting
Joy
at
Midnight.)

And so I say I hate
Me
Presently Love,

and
Mean every word
of
It...

faithfully;

Faithfully like
the
Damned
who know the hours
of
Their Burning!

(Regardless
that
they also know
the
world will not
cease
turning.)

+

Who said monsters
Never
Prayed Love?

(Whoever the
Fucking
liar
is
I care not even
Know.)

I pray for
​​​​​Heavens
Laughter
Like a jester
of
The Court!

(But am
answered
Only
By it's sorrow.)

+

Well love
time
to
Go...

back to where
I
Was Before.

Presently into
the
ever-Past

In search
of
Newborn
Futures...

While
hoping

In My Pauper's

Heart...

you
may
occasionally
remember!!!

(that I
still
​​​​​​​Love you
In
the
Present tense.)

J.Stephen.H

.

last place kings

LaSt PlAcE kInGs.
_____________

it seems like i've been
here before.

this nowhere which
was
once another when.

(somewhere.)

+

shadows paint
smiles
across
the blackboard 

of
Bleak Memories

but it's useless,..

because nobody 

sees
what i
feel in these deep
shallows,

where infant-thoughts
choke on tears
and starve like third world
citizens
in a first-rate world ruled
by
Last Place Kings, who
are
all just Yesterdays Dreams.

(Being 

filtered through an
ever
changing present.)

+

i try recalling a time
when
things were different...

Better,...

but words like Better
and
"Happy" are mere

subjective
cliche's
that never capture
the
essence of anything.
or..
"whens"
which never were but
"could've
been"
perhaps,

had i paid

better
attention or put forth
more
effort 

rather

than creating
these
Fictional-Nows 

I 

currently
drown
in while 

dreaming of a

love that
"was"

but is no more.

(Because
my
Wicked words have
killed
it.)

+

it..
seems as though i've
been
here before...

this now which is but
"isn't"

because nobody in the
wrongness
of their Rightly-Thinkin
Minds
could ever believe that...

i
was ever
a
Someone...

headed
anywhere.

(bang...)

j.s.h.

alas the star fucked tyranny!

alas the starfucked
tyranny.
++++++++++++++++++

alas the
star-fucked
tyranny;

(fates be
Cruel.)

Mother
(nature)
what
have you done
to
Me?

(your
Bastard
Fool.)

how can
one
be expected
to
feel..

when
his heart
of hearts
is
Not a
HearT?

but
mere
machine!

(driven
by rats
on a
wheel.)

j.s.h.

not another god parody

Not another
God parody.
+++++++++++++

Oh please..

Not another God
Parody.

The Problem
with freewill?

Most use it to do
stupid shit.

(downgrade me to
A causal determinism
and
Hold high the banner
of Untruth.)

No one eats these
Candy coated stars
or falls for goodness
anymore.

Mother tell me
another story.

There are better
World's than this.
(The end)

Once upon a
nothing
Somethin came!

It wasn't a rabbit
Hole..no.

It was a whole
Rabbit in a madmans
Hat

Who laughed and
Laughed.

(So much he became
Broken.)

It's temporarily
Infinite regress;
But I now digress.

Without progress.

+

Oh please not another
God
Parody.

No one listens.

(Expired are those
Candy coated stars.)

J.stephen.h.

the fang fairy

the fang-fairy.
++++++++++++++++

when
i was a kid

i put a
monster tooth
under
my pillow

in
hopes
the
fang fairy
might
come

and
Leave
Behind
An
Angel's
FingeR

that
pointed
The
Way to
Somewhere
better

than
ThiS

Endless
pRiSoN
in My
HeaD.

but..

the
Fairy
left
a
DeViLs'
middle
finger
instead.

(so
I guess i'm
fucked.)



j.stephen.h.

who asked to be normal anyway?

who asked to
be normal anyway?
+++++++++++++

our lips met in
such
a
mutually 

un-beneficial 

(ParasiTiC) 

tYpE of WaY
that even

 the most 

Optimistic 

of

Souls would 

not 

have
considered it 

A
Kiss;

but
for us
"inhuman-none-
too-human"
types,

Irony is Normalcy,

and

A
subtle meaning lurks
Beneath Each
Contradictive Frame.

+

Oh,

i
love you
dear,

but You Are
My
Tragedy!

(and
my tragedy
is
God's
Shame.)

+

when the moment
broke,

her
eyes broke
me
beyond feeling;

and
I died there..

somewhere in
that
Un-Kissed,

Rainbow
Killing
Kind

Of 
F?cked
Up
Tragic
Smile,

that
Always
lets

us know

how
Goddamn
Odd We
Are!

(but
who
AsKeD to
be
normal
anyway?)

jsh.

the discluded middle

The Discluded
Middle.
×××××××××××××

Here 

(in this now)
Between Chaos 

and
Disorder,

I 

(Non)- Exist 

as the 
Discluded Middle.

A 

Whisper Among
Screams 

who's
Ineffectual utter 

does
Not

Change, nor alter
Anything.

+

My
Head is 

A

Battlefield

Of

Ages come

and
Passed.

Which shall 

come
To War,

and 

Pass again!!

With me..

The Same

Discluded Middle;

Standing 

Between
The Absurdity 

of 

All
Extremes.

(A whisper trapped
In
A
World of Screams.)

J.Stephen. H.

the i / irrelevant

The I/irrelevant.
 ××××13×××××××××

Because 

"they" 

try To Make 

The 

"I" 

irrelevant,

The
"I"
Finds Them 

to
Be
Irrelevant;

But there is
A
Sad relevance

To the
irrelevance
Nonetheless ,

which
 seeks to
Punctuate  

(with

Question 

Marks)

Feelings 

deserving 

Our 

Sincerest
Exclamations. 

(!!!!!!)

+

now..

Ask me 

why
My Heart

just 

beat

Within an 

Odd
Parenthesis?

(Because 

it's
Safer 

In 

Here.)

For 
"Here" there
Exists
A Semi-Colon

Dream 

We
perpetually 

expand
upon;

Till The World
Itself
Becomes 

An
Ever-Sentence
written 

By

Unique
Pens 

with 

Ink

That
Never
Dries!

(But Lives
On
Forever 

Within
The Pages 

of
One's
Soul.)

J.Stephen.H

the wolf of self (who ate his heart)

The wolF
oF seLf (wHo
aTe hIs HeaRt.)
+++++++++++++

I was normal
once
you know.

(It was
Fuckin
Horrible. )

but
My sheep suit
concealed

a most curious
WoLf in
 Human Clothes.

(Angrily
chewing its
wAy
out of ThE
Prison
some call
Self.)

×

Nothing made
Sense..

and
Long days
were
spent idling
away 
fickle labors

with 

HoPe

Buried in 

A
Coffin
Of Ironic Smiles.

(Never to 

be
had Again.)

+
Lo,

Here lies
ThE
MAn of MEn.

(Throw 

rocks
if you can.)

Upon His
Plot 

grows
ThoRn-MaDe
Roses!

(Watered
by
tear-filled
Beer cans.)

+

Yet..

"They
Say"

I'm a
bit better
Now.

(or..

Crazy
In The
Sanest of
ways

The

Voices
All 

could
muster.)

An
Ever- Curious
Lion

living
Silent amongst
Robotic 

Lambs..

While
Feigning
Peace!

(With the
Wolf
Of Self Who ATe
His Heart.)

J.s.h.

an unfillable void of never-self

an unfillable
void of neverself.
+++++++++++++

What if...

the whole
Of Existence were
A
mere Soliloquy

(confused with
dialogue.)

playing out in 
A
Series of Dreams
the
Universe has 

because
it grew sick of being
Alone?

(and thus seeks
to fill A
Void of Never-Self.)

And would
I /we/it
(et cetera
ad
infinitum )

possess any
Meaning Outside
of
Our "selves"?

Or forever
Be
A timeless
Wanderer?

(Lost Within
It's Head)

j.stephen.h.

the theatre within you

The theatre
Within You.
+++++++++++++

Coming soon
to
The Theatre Within
You : (!!!!)

A
New Way to Spend
More

Of
Eternity Dying.

Believing what you
Made
Your Truth.

(Though you knew
Then that your
Head
was Lying.)
+

Expect a star
studded cast...

One

From Many.

An
Immortality
without
Present or Past!

But angels?

(I doubt there's
any.)

the song of our own hell

the song of our own hell.
__________________

Why must
we
be enemies?

when we
worship in
the same

Haunted
House of
Self?

with
Scorched
Tongues
Singing
ineffectively.

(the Songs
of
Our Own
Hell.)

and
Why
must
The World
Die?

Everytime
I Wish to
Live.

with Faith
a Centipede
of Roving
Eyes!

(that never
see beyond
the
chaos of God's
Crypt.)


j.stephen.h.

tick tock heart

tick-tock heart.
__________

And his
clock-heart
ticks on...
immeasurably...

ticks on...

measuring..

the distance
between..

he and she.

(the source
of finer
dreams.)

Tick-Tock
I Love You...

Tick-Tock..

Who's There?

Tick-Tock..

No Words!!


( describe
The
Splendors
Of
Your Stare.)

and so..

 my
Clock-Heart
ticks on..

(immeasurably
measuring..)

j.s.h.


For Raven.

Always.

the vampire cliche

tHe VaMpIrE cLiChE.
++++++13++++++++
We sang sad
songs the dead
laughed at..
as angels cried,
and meaning
died..

(only to come
back a vampire
cliche.)

GoD wAs
ThErE..

sitting with
a Broken
stare..

watching it
all like a
curious voyuer..
who never
interferes.

and we..
sang songs
that killed
the world.

(but brought
Harmony to
The Spheres.)
_

ThEn I LiT
mY dEvIL
cIgArReTtE..

and the
UnIvErSe
choked..

as LoSt
pHaNtOmS

placed their
Bets!

(on who
could blow
the MoSt
gRiM SmOkE.)

__

and..

we sang
sad songs
dead
lovers
loved to
Hear!!...

(But they'll
never love
again.)

XIII

too much timeless on my hands

too much timeless on my hands.
_________________________

I must have too
much timeless
on my hands
lately..

to be this content
with ancient horrors
in my Heart..

no time to stop
and eat the roses.

(though I often
feed them to the
dark.)
_

I've fallen
into love and
jumped back
out of it...

1,000 fucking
times now it
seems..

and yet here
you are..

my dead
unshining
star!

(haunting
my meaningless
dreams.)
_

the universe
is unimpressed
with ants..

but..down
here on the
farm everyone
seems to think
they have A
Miracle
in Their Pants..

and then
they pay taxes,
f?ck, and Die.

(while
considering
their Plight a
Romance.)

perhaps they
all have a little
too much...

timeless on their
hands?

j.stephen.h.

like a tragic broadway whore

LiKe a TraGic
BroAdwAy WhoRe.

XXXX13XXXXX
         ++++

I have spoKeN
with
mulTiple
IdenTiTies
in a SolipsisTic
SeTTing.

Where MuFFled
HeAds cough
Laughs like bullets
before 
BroaDway Whores
who never see The
Beginning Coming.

and You're
always
There My Love..

(whom certain
"I's"
in Secret Hate.)

Pretty Like a
Nightmare's wet
Dream any corpse
would Die Twice
For !!!

(Then
Attempt to
ViolaTe.)

+

Why do i make
such
obscene statements?..

Are you shocked
love?...

Do you shake
your
head bewildered
by the Cruelty of
My Baffling Jest?

You are..

indelibly
sown
into the Many
Shattered
Thoughts of Me..

Dancing in Your
Finest
Dollar Store
Dress!

(That you wear

 like
Sacred-Armani.)

×

Oh

I must have
Brain-Cancer!!

(The "I" Thinks.)

Because these
Bloody-Laughs
We WeeP
Now seem like
Nails to close
mY
Angels Coffin;

As Love stands
around

looking
Down
upon this
World..

like A
Tragic Broadway
Whore..!!!

(who never
saw the Ending
coming.)

j.stephen.h./

Authors Note:

Spare the Script
Flippin Lid Shittin
Questionaire please..
this is merely a reflection
of...My Disease Caught
by the World. (and given
back to Source)

A Portrait of The
Wanna Be Artist
Living in mental
Houses made of
So much social glass
that..



One should Toss
stones
At their own risk.

(but please
DO NOT RETURN
My SOUL TO
SENDER.)


JSH

who in their folly

who (in their folly)
__________________

and they held hands
like the dead..
who (in their folly)
love still..

who love like the
living endowed.

(with a neverending
will.)
_

Then

she laughed the
laugh that angels
laugh..

(breaking through his
devil-frown.)

and few things are
more sacred than
that!

(or turn the
lost world upside
down.)
__

and they held hands
like the dead.

Who 

(in their folly)
Love Still...

nightmare horses

Nightmare Horses.
++++++13++++++

The days drag 

by
like Corpses 

tied
to Nightmare 

Horses.

(Without 

Faith 

in
My Head.)

I was 

a 

General
once 

of 

Holy 

Forces.

(Now 

I Command
The 

Living Dead.)

+

and
I hate the way
that
Moonlight stares, 

(through

these 
crumbling
Walls of 

Memory.)

It seems the 

Gods
No longer care!

(Heavens 

Host
Became 

The
Enemy.)
++

Salvation 

Now is
not an 

option,..
(or

perhaps 

it
never was?)

as 

I lay here 

in
My 

Cardboard
Coffin!!

(Lamenting 

The 

Loss
of Love.)

+++

And...

Night 

Marches
On 

like 

a 

Heartless
Cavalry..

headed 

towards 

The
Final 

War.

Knowing 

(In Time)
it shall see 

Victory!!

 

(and 

the 

Light will
Shine 

No 

More.)

J.Stephen.H.

heartsick and contagious

Heartsick and contagious.
++++++++++++++++++++

Heartsick
and
Contagious,..
She caught
My Disease...
watching me.

Madly pace these
Imaginary Stages.

(reciting Shadow
Poetry.)

+++

Hello there my
Love..
I am Death,
and
Love You!

Love The
Tattered
Wings,

and
Necklace/
Noose!

But Goodbye
seems
more desired
by
This Crowd.

(and few shall
ever
profit from The
Truth.)

+++

Your Eyes
they carry
A Sadness
now,..

(Sadness
which bears
A Certain
Scent.)

though you
assume
your tears are
not allowed!!

(or that Demons
Laugh when
You Lament.)

+++

So ..
Farewell
My Pretty
Bullseye-
Heart...

until
Tomorrow...

(when Night
no longer seems
Too Dark.)

I Promise
That I'll
eat Your
Sorrow!!

and The
Shadows
will never
hit Their
Mark!

so long
as I
Madly
Pace!!!

(Life's
Imaginary
Stage.)

J.Stephen.H.

the mask of dead comedians

ThE MaSk

oF

DeAd

CoMeDiaNs.

+×+×13+×+×

My Head is this

Grave

Of Secrets Told

by

A

Living Angel

wearing

The

Mask of

Some

Dead

Comedian.

His

Whispers Freeze

All

wanton Hearts,

as

1,000 Thunders

quake

Within My Soul.

On

good nights

I

Laugh Sadly at

Cold Walls

In

Drunkenness,..

until

The Clock Screams

like

A Rabbit caught in

The

Iron Jaws of This

Trap

Called Life;

But..

I'm a Humanitarian

at

such times,

and

put the Clock out

of

it's Misery,

For

The Death

of

an Immortal

Presence

Shows

Mercy.

Or

act of

Compassion

towards Rabid

Gods

who gnash their

Golden

Teeth at Mortals

to

express Eternal

Envy.

+

On Bad Nights ,

I AM

The Sad Comedian,

donning the mask

of

A Happy Angel to

set

The Hearts

of

Friends at ease..

because

I hate their fucking

Sympathy!

On such occasion

They

are The Enemies

in

wait beyond that

Onyx

Gate which Guards

me

from The Villain

Sanity!

(the worst fate

for

slaves Like me.)

+

When I was Lonely,

I

prayed for A Perfect

Other

to break my Desperate

Chains,..

then I fell in

Love..

and..

Fell from Grace,

into

A Darkened Sea

Of

Hate,

Where Mean Fish

imitate

hungry Sharks

because

they're Afraid ..

that ..this

big

Bad desert world

might

eat them

like Happy Meals

served

to Weeping Children

with

Old Souls

destined To Be

Rot

and Mold!

(and upon such

nights

I am a Heathen.)

+

but

The thing about

this

Grave of Secrets

is:

(Shh! Don't

tell

anyone )

Everyone tells

everyone

until everybody

knows!!!

and

then its truly

pointless

You know?

Pointless like

A

Living

Angel wearing

the

mask

Of Some Dead

Comedian!!!!!!

(Who was

never

fucking

Happy.)

J.s.h.

till every rainbow dream is dead

Till eVerY

RAiNbOw DrEaM...

(Is dEaD.) 

+++**+++

In Love,

A Shadow

beats it's

Brains against

The Wall..

Until every

Rainbow

Dream spills

Out.

But..

it's

Never 

Enough.

(To claim
that 

fleeting 

"Faith"
MeN

Doubt.)

+++

My
Name

Is
Death..

mY

WoRd

iS

LaW;

that

Ancient

Whisper 

in

Your Head,

Who's hand

Beneath remains

A claw.

I 

EnD

breath!!

(and shall
claim
Thee One and
All.)

+++

You See,

There is

Nothing in

This World

Of Mirrors..

but
False Faces

Smiling 

on 

Ironically!!

(To 

Conceal

The 

Truth 

of

Tears.)

+++

And so..

I shall 

beat my

Shadow's Brains 

against The

Hearts Crumbling

Wall!!!

Till every

Rainbow

Dream...

(is

Dead.)

J.S.H.

a kingdom for all restless hearts

A Kingdom for
All Restless Hearts.
++++++13+++++++

I walked
down
The stairs ..

(in my
Head)

and choked
on
Smoke.

(Unaware
Life's
Prophecy
came
With Dread)...

Thoughts
Wishing
Tomorrow
Had hope!

(Yet Knowing
That My 

Heart
was Dead.)

+++

and
I'm sorry

The 

Sunshine
Of 

Black 

Tears
so 

frowned-Me 

that..

I fell this
godamn 

FAR
 From you.

Sorry that
Our
World is
Black!!

(Sorry 

Night
Stains 

Sad Eyes
of Blue.)

+++

I 

sometimes
Bring 

myself
To Wonder ..

Is 

it All

Some

Lunatics 

Dream?

Often
pull
Myself 

asunder!!!

(Always
drown In 

Endless

Screams)

++

So
tell me
dear:

do you 

still
Listen?

and
Help Me
Heart if
Love is 

Gone!

For I've
felt you
Near me
in
This
Prison!!

(and with 

you
Raged against 

The 

Dawn.)

+++

The 

"I"
(alone)
Discerns
True
Self.


As
My
(own)
Grim
Chaos
Breeds

New

Art!!

While 

Gods'
Throne

some

Mortal
Seat
Becomes!!

( a
Kingdom
for All
Restless
Hearts.)

+++

Now

Hold Me
Love!!

(With Life

so

Fleeting)

And do 

not
Turn your 

hand
Astray!

For

I assure
You there
are
Angel's
Greeting

Every soul
Who Finds 

it's
Way...

Back to The
World our
Minds Were
"Dreaming"!!

(Before 

trapped

In The 

Nightmare
Of

Life's
Grave.)

J.Stephen.H.

persona whispers through strains of heartbeat

persona whispers through
strains of heartbeat.
+++++++++++++++++

fate damn it all..
(Persona whispers
through strains of
Heartbeat.)

the purpose of
Climbing is To
Fall!!

(but we always
land on Broken
Feet.)

yet There is a
Knowledge
beyond Knowing..

(ingrained
within
ones personal
instinct.)

For some
it is
Dark,..

and Others
Glowing!!

(depending
on "The way
They Think.")

but Fate
Damn it
All!!!

(persona
whispers
through
strains
of Dying
Heartbeat.)

T'is my
Place to
Redefine
The Fall!!

(with or
without feet....)

j.s.h.

puppets to that endless cannibal

puppets to that endless
cannibal.
+++++++++++++

Middle Finger to
The Skye...
today the Absurdity
seems more
Laughable...

because My Shadow
wants to Die..
at The Hands of
Time.

(that Endless
Cannibal.)

Erratic Heartbeat
well
defines me..
A..
Crazy fucking Song
lost
Somewhere
in Itself.

Gut filled with
Love-Soured Misery!!

(an Angels Chorus
Burns Like Hell.)
+

so..
I have come
to Believe,
that Sane Men
make their
Lives a Dream,..

Because
Reality
Deceives!!

while most
awaken
with a scream...

(Puppets to that
endless Cannibal.)

j.s.h.

the owl

The Owl
++13++
(tribute to poe)
_______

There was
an
Owl sitting
outside
My window..
who
looked at me as
If to say:

"I am
watching
everywhere you
Go!"

(And you cannot
Escape.)
+

I tried my
hardest
Not to shudder,
But all
attempts
were thus in vain..
For I jumped the
moment that it
fluttered !

(Into the dirty
panes.)
++

Thus to my room
I quickly fled,

(chancing not a
second look)

but The Owl was
sitting on my bed!

(and perched upon my
Favorite Book.)
+++

Oh
"Be gone thou
wicked Spawn !" 
I screamed,

(As mounting terror
filled my head)

hoping this was but
A Dream.
(Yet knowing I was
Likely Dead.)
++++

but
The owl just
Stood there oddly
staring,
(Hateful eyes of
Hell unblinking.)
Till soon I found
Myself not Caring.
(Into what pit my
Soul was sinking.)
+++++
Take me then,
You feathered fiend!
(I yelled with reckless
Hearts abandon.)
For Life is but a step
Between, the hardest
Rock and softest
Phantom!
A void of Endless
Suffering!!!
(Where all Men Sing
The Devils Anthem.)
++++++

soon
After this my soul
grew weak,
And as i sat down
On the bed,

I
wondered if the
Owl would speak,..
But a smile crossed
its beak instead!
Causing me to shriek!!

Oh..surely. .
Surely! !

(I Am DeAd.)

J.Stephen.H.

since heaven was never ours to rent

since heaven
was never ours
to rent.
+++++++++

it's finally
happened
dear..

i have
forgotten.

the pretty
ghost who
once stood
lively here.

(before her
smile grew
rotten.)
+

the wall no
longer asks
about you..

we have
reached an
agreement..

and never
discuss what
cloud you went
to!

(since Heaven
was never Ours
To Rent.)
+

yes,
it's finally
happened
dear..

i have
forgotten.

that Pretty
Ghost who
once danced
Happy Here!!

(before my
Heart Grew
Rotten.)

j.stephen.h.

a spider draining me

a spider
draining me.
+++XIII+++++

a quick gesture
      of
Her Head..

to shake The
  Spiders
  Loose...

But Their
    Eggs
 hatch
The New-
Born
 Dead!

(and Oh
The Madness
    They
Produce!!)
     +

Could i
   truly sell
my soul
    for
This??

(Forfeit
Those
Sacred Parts
    of
Me.)

When
There's
   No
Salvation
   in
A Kiss!!!

(and Love
resorts to
 Slavery.)
   +

she
       Sheds
A
Brief Half-
Second
   Smile...

        to
reveal Grim
Beauty's
   Mockery..

as I laugh
(sadly)
     In
   Denial!!!!!!

(that she
is A
   Spider
Draining
   Me.)

j.s.h

phantoms in the rain

Phantoms in the Rain.
+++++++++++++++++

Her tears tasted
like Dead Dreams
rotting in a Nightmare
Hell...

as Angels (in holy
protest) screamed.

(for the soul
within she had to
sell.)

+

We met on a
Bleak,
Stormy Day in
search
of Hope...

enchanted by
Lost Phantoms
in The Rain!

(who taught
our restless souls
to cope)

but nothing
it
seems could
ease
my angels
 Pain!!

(but Loves Noose
she fashioned
our of Devils-Rope.)

j.stephen.h.

soft kicks to the head

Soft Kicks to
The Head.
++++++++

Her Kisses
were
Soft Kicks to
The Head.

Like
Early
Morning
Cigarettes.

(before
Coffee.)

Or,..

A
Mind
Breaking
after
The
HearT
is
Dead!



(I told you 
The Reaper
would'nt
Stop Me.)

+++

But
Ironically..

(it seems)

This Hell
We Share
is preferable!

(to The
Heaven
Others
Dream.)

+++

I 

do

not
trust
it
when
Her
Eyes Puke
Love..

because
they
scarcely
seem
Aware..

of
Those
Devils
Plotting
Up
Above!

(Writing

Curses
in
The Air.)

+++

I
didn't
tell her
She was
Beautiful
Today.

so,..

The
World
Ended.

(for a
While.)

until
She lost
the 

Inner

Strength 

to
Pray!


(and
Vowed
to
Never
Laugh
or
Smile.)

+++

Her
Silence
Now
Screams
Within
My Head.

tis

A
Late
Night
Party

intended
for
One...

or
Moon
Weeping
Once
The
World is
Dead!!


( I  

told

you
Love
would
soon be
Done.)

j.stephen.h.

________

like madness misses the moon

like madness
misses the moon.
(second version)
+++++++++++++

Oh
Love..

how
I
miss
You...

Like

Madness
misses
The MooN.

or
Mourning
DoVeS

(In depths
of Winter.)

crave
The
Month of
June!

   +

The
Monster in
Me
was A Child,

(Who 

Was Brought 

Up In 

A
DeSoLaTe
woOd.)


Roaming
A
HaunTeD
WiLDeRnEsS
WiLd!!!

(Where
That
Cemetery
"Love" 

Once
stood.)

  +

and

oh
Love..

how
I
need
You!

like
sHaDoWs
need
ThE SuN.


your
Eyes Are
an
AbYsS

I've 

Fallen 

through.

(To 
DiscoVeR
we are
OnE.)

j.s.h.

jokes told by a maddened crowd

jokes told by a maddened crowd.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

if i died at the end,..
then
who's writing this?

save a dance for
me old flame.

(we never shared
a kiss.)

the laughter seems
near
endless now,..

(but i scarcely
hear it anymore.)

jokes told by
a
Maddened Crowd!!

(who will be
weeping by the
encore.)

if i'm still alive
then
how are you
killing me?

drop the
vengeful blade
old flame!!

(you didn't
have
a chance to
breath.)

1,000 deaths
later

and
There you
are.

My
Lovely
Catastrophe.

as
lasting as
A

Falling
Star!!!

(that
always
lands on
me.)

j.s.h.

my lovers lips are dead

mY LoveRs LiPs
ARe DeAd.
+++++++++++

My Lovers Lips
are
Not Like Others,

My Lovers Lips
are
Dead;

but
She comforts
me
Beneath
The Covers.

(and soothes
The
Reptiles
In My Head.)

+

Her Soul was
Pimped
for Thirteen
Seconds,

of Fame She
Didn't Live To
See,

Yet she's existed
longer
than I'd reckoned!

(In A Machine
of
Edited Memories.)

+

My Lovely's
Face
is Not Like
Others

My Lovely's
Face
is Flat,..

she grew
up
In A House
of
Brothers,

who'd
Beat
Her
when She
Laughed.

+


 I

 
try to tell
Her

Life has
Purpose,

but it's
hard Instilling
Her
with Faith,

when
Conditioned
to feel

like 

She's 
Worthless!

(Or 

a 

Tool 

To

Violate)

+

And yet..

My Lovers
Kiss
is Not Like
Mine,

My Lovers
Kiss
is Warm,..

defying
Death
and All 

of
Time!

(In Spite
Life's Many
Storms.)

+

She saved
My Soul
from Inner
Torment,

the
Moment that
I
Saw Her
Smile,..

for My
Love is
still quite
Innocent!

(and
Shall
Never
Be
Defiled.).

J.stephen.h.

kiss farewell the sun

Kiss Farewell The Sun.
 ++++++13++++++++++

Kiss farewell
The
Sun My love
And..

Say
Goodnight..

To
Those Angels
You've
been dreaming
of!

(who filled
The World
with Heavens
Light.)

A sad,
uncertain
Creature
(Lust)
Haunts your
Heart in
Hateful Ways.

Then grinds
The
Bones of
Faith to Dust!

(To be
scattered
down The
Hall
Of Yesterday.)

Shake
the
Hand of Fate
My
Dear,
But..
Don't Hold
Your
Breath.

Because
all
Of
Us are
Prisoners
Here!!

(And the
Warden
of
Life is
Death.)

This
Shadow
Bids
Your Soul
to
Follow,..

down
A Dark,
Chaotic
Path;

You ask
him
Why His
Eyes
Are Hollow!

(I
look
at You and
Laugh.)

+

Kiss
Farewell
The Sun
My
Love,..

and..
Say
Hello to
Endless
Night.

For
Those
Angels
You've
Been
Dreaming
Of??

(were
Always
Devils
in my
Sight.)

J.Stephen.H.

why my pretty laughs no more

Why My PreTTy
Laughs no MoRe.
+++++++++++++

She lays
Stiffly on
The
Bed;

A
Work of
Art

Painted
OveR
ThiS
NighTmaRe
Canvas.

(Created in
My
Head.)

+

So
I tell
Sick Jokes
To pass
The Time;

but

 lately She
Seems
bored..

and perhaps
The
Fault is mine ?!!

(Why My
Pretty Laughs
No More.)

+

On solemn
Nights
when
Skies are
Bruised,

And
Ravens
sit
 in
Haunted
Trees,

I
Assume
That
GOd is
Unamused!

And
plotting
Secret
Hells
For Me!!

(For
Corrupting
His
Favorite Muse.)

+

and it didn't
have
To be this way
You know?...

We
Could've been
Happy..

instead of
Feigning Joy
To conceal
Life's sorrow!

(Then
Ending
In Tragedy.)

+

She
Lays stiffly
On the
Bed ..

This work
Of Art
I'll always
Adore.

Broken
by
NiGhTmArEs
In my
HeaD!!!

(and this
is why My
Pretty Laughs
No More...)

J.Stephen.H

why make the haunted i cry?

Why make
The Haunted
 "I" cRy??
+++++++++

Oh how we
Hate us you
F?cking Bastard
Me!

Why make
The Haunted
 "I" cRy??!!

(Tears which
Flow eternally.)

Why ask why
When life is not
An answer to
A question?

We live, and
Die, then
Occupy.

(A space no
Others Mention.)

Oh how we
Hate Us you
F?cking Bastard
Me!

and..

My Haunted
Eye lives to
​​​​​​​See!!!!!

(Deaths which
Last Eternally.)



Jsh.

the absurd beauty in a suicidal smile

The Absurd
Beauty in A
Suicidal Smile
+++++++++++++

Oh love,

do you
Hate Me?

Because
I see
Absurd Beauty
In
A Suicidal
Smile?

I've just
been ..

feeling

Odd
Lately.

( and haven't

believed 

in Goodness 

for a while.)

+

I Saw You
Yesterday..

walkin
Down
By The
Crimson
Sea.

(where we
used
to Pray.)


and

it'll likely
become
Another
Nightmare
Memory!

(that no
amount of
Booze can
wash away.)

+

Oh
Love.. 

do
You

Hate
Me?

Because
I
chose to
stick
around 

and

tough shit
out?

Hoping
there
is
beauty left
to
see.

(regardless
that
my heart is
full
of doubt.)

+

When
Night
becomes

a 

Tragic song,

(and
ThE Darkness
Falls)

I will
Try my
damnedest
to
be strong.

Yet

when

I hear your
laughter
down the
halls,

I
KNOW..

that
it probably
won't
be
Long!

(before I
Wear
Suicidal Smile.)

J.Stephen.H.

when lillith wepT

wHeN LiLLiTh
wEpT.
___________

When
LilliTh
wepT

Dead
Stars
Bled Out;

(falling
to
NeTher
ReGiOnS
DowN
Below.)


and
lefT

A bRuIsE
on
HeAvEnS
mOuTh!

(Some
Angels
even
DiEd
oF
SoRRoW.)

+

God wasn't
half-so-happy
then,

but
understood

because
he

"Knew"

that
Beauty
is
Destroyed
by
Men!

(Who Kill
For
Lies They
Think
Are True.)

+

On
Picture
Days,

(when
All
Seems
Fake.)

She sits
Alone
Beside The
Fire;

HoPiNg
that
Her MiNd
won'T
BrEaK,

as did Her
Heart.

(by Dark
Desire.)

+

When Lillith
Weeps
My Soul Bleeds
Out,

(WaTeriNg
tWiLiGhT
fLoWeRs
DoWn bElOw.)

and
Leaves
A
Bruise
On HeaVens
MouTh!

(which could
still Be
SMilinG
By
TomoRRoW.)

J.Stephen.h.

goodbye moonbeams

good-ByE-mOOnBeAmS.
++++++++++++++++++++

Good-Bye Moon
Beams
glisten in Her Hair;

farewell my endlessly-
fading love!

(HeLLo Heart-Break
and
Despair.)

+

I saw you in
A
Dream Last Night;

(it
almost felt like
you
were HeRe.)

Your Dead Eyes
ate
Eternal Sunlight!!

(and
spit Black-
Rainbows
Without
CheeR.)

+

Goodbye-Sad-Songs
pour
from Your Voice;

Take care
My
Ever- Dying -
Love!

(The End
was
Not Our Choice.)

j.stephen.h.

bare pickt the flower of its head

bare-pickt..the flowers
of its head.
++++++++++++++++

Loves or Loves
not?

Bare-pickt,..the
flower of it's
head;

all roses smell
like rot.

( and
Laughter is The
Weeping of Hearts
Grown Dead.)

+

Today/Yesterday/
Tomorrow?

when was it?

That Life became
a Pit of Sorrow,

and I
drowned
in The Angels'
Bullshit?

hell...

Perhaps it was
Always Dark!

(and
Broken Glass,
The Diamond of
It's Heart.)

jsh

the daydream moon is dead

the daydream moon is dead.
++++++++++++++++++++++

i feel powerless 

when
the
moon looks at me 

and
daydreams,

closing it's 

countless
glowing eyes,

until I see behind 

the
scenes!

(The Tragedy Of
Paradise.)

+

I suffer 

a 

not-so-subtle
insanity,

but
Others tell me 

I 

Am
Blessed;

at
Times I even 

Burst
Out Laughing!!

(to mask My 

Weeping
Hearts Distress.)

+

But
i hate it when the 

walls
laugh back,

(i use my fists 

to 

Silence
the voices)

they often 

make my 

fucking
head crack!!

(and spill 

out 
Unwise choices.)

+

yesterday 

my 

brain 

proceeded 
to 

Masturbate;

(and the 

world remained
a mocking tease.)

Hoping To 

Be 

Fucked 

By
A Higher 

Fate!

(but 

it left us 

Broken 

and
Diseased.)

+

(epilogue)

at
13 a.m. a

shot
rings...

and
eats up Half 

a 

Haunted
Head.

As The Universe
Begins to Sing!

(because The
Daydream
Moon Is Dead.)

j.s.h.

13 sonnets

13 SonneTs.
+++++++++++++

I know it's
not
the smoke,

when her
Eyes
grow dull,
and dim;

and
Her Voice
Sings
TraGic NoteS.

13
SonneTs.

(All for
HiM.)

+

I should've
Known
it's wrong to
Hope,..

or

Pray for
GreaTeR
ThinGs to
CoMe.

Love left
mE
dangling from
A
RoPe!

(in this
WorLd
wiThouT
ThE SuN.)

+

I know it's
not
ThE dRinK..

when her
LaugH sounds
like
A ghosT;

and I'm too
in
LoVe to "think"!

(about liFeS
PaiN
I craVe ThE
mosT.)

I'm wiser now,
buT
SaDdeR thus;

another HatefuL
LeSsoN
Learned..

DeAd
HeaRt
reduced
To
ASh and
DuSt!!

13
SoNNeTs!!!!!

(Watch theM
BuRn.)

J.s.h.

but the heart one never owns

But the heart
One never owns.
++++++++++++

Oh flame..
I thought you
Would've known,

that...

You can sell
1,000 angel souls!

(But the HearT
OnE neVer oWns.)

You dream the
Oddest
Midnight scenes..

though I've never
Seen
Your griM eyeS
Sleep!

A goddess true
In
Face, and form.

(haunted by
sad phantoms of
The deep.)

+

Today Times
Record seems
quite broken;

stuck on
Songs that
played before.

In a voice
Of
Days lost
and unspoken!

(dreamiNg of
HearTs it
Never owned
Before.)

j.stephen.h

wishing her well

Wishing Her Well.
+++++++++++++

Wishing Her Well
as
I curse the heart;

Putting to Rest
Loves
Dead End Tragedy.

and
 I
thought
I
was Smart!!

(Yet beauty always
makes
A Beast of Me.)

Damning Her name
as
I beg for
Blessings .

Watching the Clock
reveal
A Crueler Side.

Has it forever
Worn
The Smile of
Suffering ?

(that we as fools
ignore in pride.)

Wishing Her Well
as
I Curse The Sky.

Putting to Rest
The
Myth of Angels.

and though
I thought Love
would
Immediately die!!

(I have found
it
Slowly Strangles.)

J.s.h.

puppets on a madmans page

Puppet 

On
A Madman's
Page.
++++++++++++

YesteRday 

HeaVen 

was
A
Haunted 

Library 

wiThout

AnyoNe TheRe

to

read about

 

ThE

GhosTs

WHo LiVe 

iN

BooKs;

as

I sat 

wondering
how
Many 

"I's"got lost

Within Each
Page.

+



and Do 

I 

Love 

because

I
LoVe?

Or
Claim to Love
Intent
Upon a FucK?

(Oh,
Why do sad-sack

Angels cuT
A
DeViLs HearT
so
much?)

+


Now ..

(Today)

HeaVen 

is
ThE
GhosT of 

YesteRday,

Who's

GriM
SmiLe remains 

A

meMory

that

could never 

The 

Joy of

Experience 

Replace.

As
I 

SiT

Tearing
Out 

My
Eyes

Because
I
HaTe 

This
Godamn
PlacE!!

Seeing as
The
"I's"
 are
All Puppets...

(Dancing on a
Madmans page.)

J.Stephen.h

a symbol of ruin

.
A Symbol of Ruin.

+++++++++++++

I use self as a

Symbol of ruin

Because Truth has

Ruined us to our

Selfless Non-Being.

Ponder that with

Coffee

or detached airs.

and

We'll sit a minute

Thawing Our Heads

By

The Social Fires Lifes

Lie has Caused.

as

Your face

Dances A Smile.

(and

Shit seems passable

for a while.)

+

Our movie Always

changes doesn't it?

but through the

Centuries I have

Loved, and Hated

(and Murdered!!!)

you

In evolving forms

Of

Endless Ink.

Loving Haters

We

Are Who's hypocrisy

Babysits

Forever!

++++

so..

I use

"Us" as

A

Symbol of

FUCK it

Because someone

Has

To,

And..

Has to take

A

Stand Against
Those

Virginal Identities

Born to Whore The

Self

For

ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

( till God's mouth

Never

Dances A Smile.)

J.Stephen. H